View Full Version : Revocation of the United States of America's Independance.
IcemanLeigh
13-02-2007, 07:56 PM
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.
The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."
You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
carocat
13-02-2007, 08:02 PM
That thing keeps going round the internet every half year. It's absolutely brilliant and makes me laugh every time. :)
IcemanLeigh
13-02-2007, 08:09 PM
I thought it was hilarious, i have never read it before but i am aware that it does circulate alot. The rebuttal from an american point of veiw is also quite funny, but i prefer this one. ;)
carocat
13-02-2007, 08:35 PM
There is a rebuttal from an American point of view?
BlueHoopedMoose
13-02-2007, 08:59 PM
There is a rebuttal from an American point of view?
Yep - it goes something like
"I owned your mom, dude. Do you eat crumpets?"
Duke87
13-02-2007, 09:48 PM
Yep - it goes something like
"I owned your mom, dude. Do you eat crumpets?"
You forgot the bit about teeth.
carocat
13-02-2007, 10:12 PM
And the tea....
quickshot89
13-02-2007, 10:26 PM
with the queen...
Gaskin
13-02-2007, 11:04 PM
Points 6 and 8 are utter crap.
IcemanLeigh
14-02-2007, 03:27 PM
Why would 8 be utter crap if their independence was revoked? What would be the point of independence day...
Dont think you thought that one through now did you..
Spindryer
14-02-2007, 03:52 PM
I like it, If only i could attach that to a message over XBl ..........
Gaskin
14-02-2007, 04:33 PM
Why would 8 be utter crap if their independence was revoked? What would be the point of independence day...
Dont think you thought that one through now did you..
Well therefore the whole thing is utter crap.
I like it, If only i could attach that to a message over XBl ..........
You could send a voice message of you reading out each individual part. Although that would take quite a long time :|
kHz Glitch
15-02-2007, 04:31 AM
that is stupid, honestly i really don't get the point i get its supposed to be funny but honestly
BIG D 04
15-02-2007, 04:53 AM
that is stupid, honestly i really don't get the point i get its supposed to be funny but honestly
It's called Mockery something which we do on a regular basis, it's mocking the American society and showing you the differences in the society while putting a hilarious spin on it.
It's not to everyone's taste as there's alot more you can mock Americans about but there you go.
A Bit of Banter never hurt anyone, Any chance I can see the rebuttal to this?
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
Thank you for putting this in!
p.s I actually had an American ask me whether I was British or English yesterday morning. :|
Spindryer
15-02-2007, 11:16 AM
p.s I actually had an American ask me whether I was British or English yesterday morning. :|
LOL, Thats nothing mate i had some Yank on XBL (Halo2) ask me if i speak British or just English?!? In fact the next game i had him on my team and he decided to commit suicide 18 times because i got the rifle before him...... I didnt get angry i just felf sorry for the poor lad.
LOL, Thats nothing mate i had some Yank on XBL (Halo2) ask me if i speak British or just English?!? In fact the next game i had him on my team and he decided to commit suicide 18 times because i got the rifle before him...... I didnt get angry i just felf sorry for the poor lad.
Haha! It's just horrible that people can let themselves be like that.
Anybody else got any good storys from the good old USA. :p
Retro
15-02-2007, 11:38 AM
that is stupid, honestly i really don't get the point i get its supposed to be funny but honestly
You wouldnt understand you dont have any roundabouts.
IcemanLeigh
15-02-2007, 06:03 PM
Here you are, for Glitch and for Big D
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blrevocation4.htm
Also, another can be found, along with the origins of the whole joke at:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/revocation.asp
Other versions, with many variations and extra points can be found all over the internet for both sides. Both are very funny, obviously depending on which side of the pond you are on.
gradinator
15-02-2007, 11:34 PM
The USA one was funnier they really owned us :P
IcemanLeigh
16-02-2007, 12:10 AM
The last two seem to be a complete piss take of themselves though... Which is completely shocking as i didnt think americans were actually capable of that!
BIG D 04
16-02-2007, 02:55 AM
Here you are, for Glitch and for Big D
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blrevocation4.htm
LMFAO! :D Fair play that was very good.
Cheers for Posting that
The American version was terrible. They just said what we said, turned it around and made it wrong. Then attempted to prove that the English language was not created over here and that because they have more English speaking people they must have it the right way not us.
If they had made one which was original and actually contained faults about the British way of living it would be funny.
Spindryer
16-02-2007, 02:42 PM
The American version was terrible. They just said what we said, turned it around and made it wrong. Then attempted to prove that the English language was not created over here and that because they have more English speaking people they must have it the right way not us.
If they had made one which was original and actually contained faults about the British way of living it would be funny.
But that would take brain power, not a largle XL bacon double cheese burger........Tasty
kHz Glitch
18-02-2007, 01:46 AM
ya well the american reply was very much the same and it seems pretty mch the same and so i guss i can see some of the banter
Azure
18-02-2007, 05:57 PM
Seemed to me like.
America doesn't understand, make it simpler.
Pirate Balloon
22-02-2007, 06:38 PM
Hahah, thats right. I've been to America a couple of times and the sterotypes are true. Very true.
There should be one saying 'Dont put squeezy cheese on everything' :|
kHz Glitch
24-02-2007, 09:43 PM
Hahah, thats right. I've been to America a couple of times and the sterotypes are true. Very true.
What stereotypes? all americans are stupid ignorant fools?
Gaskin
24-02-2007, 10:41 PM
Alot of them are. That's why the stereotypical is known to be stupid and ignorant, but this doesn't mean all.
kHz Glitch
24-02-2007, 10:58 PM
Alot of them are. That's why the stereotypical is known to be stupid and ignorant, but this doesn't mean all.
see that is just why it is so stupid, i dont think british people are anyting but people, i dont have a judgement on them as a whole like i believe, most of the people i know. yet everyone else from across the pond seems to think that americans are the stupidest and most spoiled people on the planet and ts just insulting. when really, most of america are good people i believe,
edit: also, gaskin, who many americans have you met? not in videogames but in real life, that are stupid ignorant americans?
Pirate Balloon
24-02-2007, 11:08 PM
when really, most of america are good people i believe,
Ignorance is another huge sterotype of americans.
kHz Glitch
24-02-2007, 11:56 PM
Ignorance is another huge sterotype of americans.
which is why stereotypes are so stupid, because most stereotypes for entire groups is based on interaction with a single person or on games where anybody can act completely different...
but since i dont sterotype, i can see that most people are good
Pirate Balloon
25-02-2007, 12:53 AM
which is why stereotypes are so stupid, because most stereotypes for entire groups is based on interaction with a single person or on games where anybody can act completely different...No, they're based on years of exprierence with the general public, and their cultures and lifestyles etc.
Sterotypes usually form because of the CONSTANT stories/expierence's we have/heard (although usually bad) with that culture/religion/race whatever, and it's hard not to sterotype sometimes.
And besides, my last post was a joke.
If i really must dumb it down for you (seeing as how you're American), the whole stupid and ignorant American thing comes from, well, just take a look at anything, from wars to politics, to surveys showing a lot of Americans dont know **** all outside of thier national borders. "God Bless America" and all that, it's like saying **** everyone else. Oh, and your Presedent, that's a major player in the stupid sterotype. The ignorant hing also comes from how you invade other countries ro whatever, and treat the people thier liek ****, becuase you are ignorant of thier cultures. The reason why the British sorted out Bornio back when it was ion our empire, awas because of "hearts and minds" campaign. We visited the locals villages and tribes, made friends, joined in and got to know them. So in turn, the villagers would help find the rebels.
And then we look at VIETNAM. Ohhh boy. How about we just napalm and blow the **** out of everything that even rometly resembles a "gook" eh? Not only the NVA hated the yanks, but also the people the yanks were trying to get democracy for, the ordanary population of Vietnam. and who can blame them? Something like a million died, over half were not even NVA, they were innocent civillians. You guys lost in the end becuase the locals didnt give a **** what happened, it was just as bad with the NVA as it was the Yanks.
Hmm, you could proberbly replace the word "Vietnam" with "Iraq" and it'd still be valid.
Anyway... there's just a tiny contribution to the sterotype :)
kHz HaVoK
25-02-2007, 01:13 AM
No, they're based on years of exprierence with the general public, and their cultures and lifestyles etc.
Sterotypes usually form because of the CONSTANT stories/expierence's we have/heard (although usually bad) with that culture/religion/race whatever, and it's hard not to sterotype sometimes.
And besides, my last post was a joke.
If i really must dumb it down for you (seeing as how you're American), the whole stupid and ignorant American thing comes from, well, just take a look at anything, from wars to politics, to surveys showing a lot of Americans dont know **** all outside of thier national borders. "God Bless America" and all that, it's like saying **** everyone else. Oh, and your Presedent, that's a major player in the stupid sterotype. The ignorant hing also comes from how you invade other countries ro whatever, and treat the people thier liek ****, becuase you are ignorant of thier cultures. The reason why the British sorted out Bornio back when it was ion our empire, awas because of "hearts and minds" campaign. We visited the locals villages and tribes, made friends, joined in and got to know them. So in turn, the villagers would help find the rebels.
And then we look at VIETNAM. Ohhh boy. How about we just napalm and blow the **** out of everything that even rometly resembles a "gook" eh? Not only the NVA hated the yanks, but also the people the yanks were trying to get democracy for, the ordanary population of Vietnam. and who can blame them? Something like a million died, over half were not even NVA, they were innocent civillians. You guys lost in the end becuase the locals didnt give a **** what happened, it was just as bad with the NVA as it was the Yanks.
Hmm, you could proberbly replace the word "Vietnam" with "Iraq" and it'd still be valid.
Anyway... there's just a tiny contribution to the sterotype :)
Glitch is american and dsnt lyk being insulted, even tho this is a UK community glitch has been here longer you "pirate balloon" so theres no need to keep insulting him!
Some of the english people i've met are just as bad as..."you say the americans are"...well prat balloon!
Glitch is standing up for his country which we would do if it was us so fuk up :D
Pirate Balloon
25-02-2007, 01:51 AM
If i really must dumb it down for you (seeing as how you're American),This was obviously a joke.Glitch is american and dsnt lyk being insulted, even tho this is a UK community glitch has been here longer you "pirate balloon" so theres no need to keep insulting him!I wasn't insulting him, i was explaining a little bit of the sterotype. I'm going to ignore the fact that you just said that longer time on board = more valid opinion.Some of the english people i've met are just as bad as..."you say the americans are"...well prat balloon!I was explaining the sterotype, which he asked for.Glitch is standing up for his country which we would do if it was us so fuk up :DYou want me to **** up? **** what up? You want me to **** you up?
Razor
25-02-2007, 02:00 AM
Keep it civil please guys.
Gaskin
25-02-2007, 04:27 AM
see that is just why it is so stupid, i dont think british people are anyting but people, i dont have a judgement on them as a whole like i believe, most of the people i know. yet everyone else from across the pond seems to think that americans are the stupidest and most spoiled people on the planet and ts just insulting. when really, most of america are good people i believe,
edit: also, gaskin, who many americans have you met? not in videogames but in real life, that are stupid ignorant americans?
Glitch dude don't take it to heart, I'm technically an american myself so I don't hate them at all! I was just saying that a known 'stereotypical' american (not meaning that it's true) is fat, lazy, ignorant etc. Just like a 'stereotypical' british man drinks tea, eats crumpets and has horrible teeth. You see what I'm getting at? I didn't mean to say alot of them are etc, that was a mistake as I was in a bad mood anyway and I'm sorry for that. Oh and for reference I've met quite alot of americans, and being born there makes me american, that's why I found this thread kind of offensive. :cool:
DinnyHoon
27-02-2007, 05:17 PM
*prints*
Whenever I remember, I lob my headset to the other side of the room when playing Quake 4. Otherwise, I'm tempted to turn the volume up and listen to crap such as "limeys only play fag soccer, they're all n00bs. YOUR MOTHER!" which, after a tongue whipping about GWB, inevitably results in me losing a rep star or two.
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